On Tuesday I went to my 6 week check up with Dr. Damore. I brought Max with me which gave me a lot of stress worrying about how he was going to be. I could just picture myself up in the stirrups being "assessed" and he would be screaming for me to hold him. Thankfully that didn't happen. He slept through the whole thing. Whew!
At my appointment we talked about birth control (ha, ha) As you know we had to do In-Vitro to have Max. I'm always hearing stories about people being able to get pregnant on their own after they could not before. That would be fantastic. But I'm still going on the birth control. I'm not ready for number 2 just yet.
I'm always wondering if Shaun and I will have another baby. I don't know if I could do In-Vitro again. But then I think about how it gave me Max and it was all worth it. It's so emotionally, physically, and financially draining. I'm not ready to go through it again just yet.
I don't know if I could handle it if we didn't have the success that we had the first time resulting in our Max. My heart might just break and I would grumble to pieces. Although, I do have Max which I think would help me pick up the pieces. I would be so thankful that I had him. It's just so hard to put yourself out there and be completely vulnerable. At least for me it is.
We also think about adopting but that takes a lot of time and can also be emotionally and financially draining. I do know that I love children and there are so many children around the world that need to be adopted. I know I have the heart to love them! I feel that it would be such a great blessing. I really hope I can get the opportunity to adopt. I just don't know when it would happen. We would have to save up the money and then the whole process takes time. We might be too old by then.
I worry about Max being an only child. I worry about spoiling him too much! I think that would be so easy to do. Not intentionally of course. The good thing is that Shaun and I are aware of the situation and will make sure to have balance. I want Max to be a well rounded person.
I don't know what will happen with our family. I do know that our lives are so much more enriched now that we have Max. We are a family unit. There is always room for more but if it doesn't happen I still feel complete.
I do find it awesome how I love Shaun even more just because he is Max's dad. It's a whole other level of love. I'll feel the same way about any other child that comes to us. Know matter how they come, They will be ours and I will be thankful:)